Back then I wanted to change the world. To stand alone and be able to look back at myself and think that yes, I made a dent in the universe. Now? Not so much. I don’t really care. Not that I don’t actually care about the wellbeing of the world and those around me, but more like I don’t think heroism and philanthropy needs to be so dramatic. I don’t have to quit my job and travel the world. I don’t have to drop out of school. I don’t have to go it alone. I can do simple things, like write a little blog post. Have coffee and brunch with my friends on Sundays. Make sure I get a couple hours of exercise every week. And that’s enough. I once thought that being a good person was changing the world. Now I know it means changing myself. Yes. I bit that right off Rumi’s quote, “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself." I don’t have to stand out. I don’t have to be different. In fact, there’s nothing wrong with being “the same.” If anything, it’s absolutely normal and beneficial in many ways. It’s less lonely. People understand you. And your schedule more or less aligns with everybody else so you can actually afford to go out and play frisbee with your friends at the park every once in a while. It’s not so bad. This isn’t me giving up. This is me acknowledging the changing landscape of my life and my mind.
P.S. Thank you, Grace Kim, for introducing me to that Rumi quote =)