It starts with an inability to say “hello” because you don’t believe that you are someone worth meeting. Even after you’ve met, the next time you see each other, you’ll find a way to convince yourself that this person doesn’t remember you, so once again, no need for a greeting.
In the classroom setting, you don’t ever raise your hand because you don’t believe that you have anything valuable to say. It’s the same for work settings, or even at home with your family, friends or girlfriend. I won’t speak up because I have nothing worthy to add to the conversation, even if you’ve asked me for my opinion over a million times.
You don’t invite anyone to any of your special occasions because you don’t believe that anyone cares. No birthday parties. Nobody wants to come. No invites to my graduation or any of my performances because I’m not worth it. That’s the worse, when you don’t even have the guts to tell people that it’s your birthday.
A lack of self-esteem is scariest in love because no matter how much your girlfriend loves you, you will always find a way to be alone. Because you don’t believe that you are someone worthy of meeting or being remembered. Because you don’t believe that you have anything valuable to add to anyone’s life. Because you place yourself at such a low level, you feel that anyone who loves you has simply made a mistake, and the least you could do is help them by running away and allowing them to find someone better. You are convinced that you are never enough, and whether or not it is true, you make it so.
At the end of the day, a lack of self-esteem leaves you bitter, cold and alone. The funny thing is that you then start wondering how you got yourself here in the first place. Even funnier is that you already have friends, family and tons of potential lovers just dying to be with you, help you and support you … heck, even spend the rest of their life with you.
You’re not used to it. I get it. You’ve grown so accustomed to doing everything yourself. I understand that, too. Somehow you’ve tricked yourself into believing that no one cares, and it probably all started at that young age when kids are trained to just shut up and listen to authority. Sure, I know there is a bunch of other elements involved: culture, upbringing, media, etc.
But you need to stop hiding from the spotlight. The light is there, shining in all its radiant glory. Now, you can choose to stay on the sidelines each and every time your moment arrives, but you can also choose to bath in the spotlight as you were very well meant to. Everybody has a time to shine in their lives – why not you?
Try it. You’ll realize that people actually want to see you there. They’ve been dying to see you. They’ve been waiting for so long. How dare you make them wait? How dare you withhold your gifts and talents from a world that needs them so badly? People will smile, they will applaud, and best of all, they’ll be inspired... by YOU! And by your courage to put yourself out there. You’ll realize you’re not alone, and that you were never alone to begin with. Maybe it wasn’t so obvious before, but you’ll find out that everybody has their share of self-esteem issues. That’s what makes us human. We all feel weak at times and stronger other times, but one thing’s for sure. All these people dying to see you, to support you, to help you and they can’t do anything if you don’t first help yourself...
… If you don’t take that first step.
So please come into the spotlight. We’ve been waiting for you a long, long time.
by Jason Lam